How can someone, who is not an infant, from the other side of the planet, from a completely different and unknown gene pool, integrate into a family as if she has always been a part of it? The key is what it means to be a part of that particular family.
In my case, my Vietnamese sister arrived from an orphanage with my mother at 3 and a half having spent her childhood up to that point in a primitive communal orphanage setting in the bowels of a third world country. Being one of us and holding a family position was something she could not possibly have learned or had any insight into - yet she became one of us, a part of our family and it happened almost immediately. Being a part of us means that she found her place alongside all of us and feeling that each of us was hers and knowing she was ours. It wasn't our house that did it, although the TV and SpongeBob helped a lot! It was something else. Something that transcends the physical and that was her knowing or sensing that we wanted her, to love her and to have her - and for the first time in her life, she was special and not just one of a crowded group of screaming small children who played with the dirt and used a bucket instead of a toilet. She immediately sensed that being a part of this new group meant she was strongly attached to each one and each one of us had a special job: one was being a brother, a sister, a mom and a dad. Most importantly, for the first time, she also had a special job: being a loved child who was little sister and part of a unit. All of this transpired with a language barrier and therefore proving that what it takes to become family is beyond physical, linguistic, racial, cultural or genetic barriers. Family - is man's transcendent experiment.
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